It has been a strange week. Normally I write this column on a Thursday, a nice, relaxing day—no pressure. Usually Cranky Whiny and Punch have engaged in some sort of hijinks—a soccer mishap or a bake-sale fiasco—but for some reason, this week was different. I was out of gas—literally and figuratively: I had no column and my car ran out of gas (I say that like it’s my car’s fault). Now, normally when life hands me lemons…but not today.

Spring has sprung, and the season of light entertainment is here. To that end, please do enjoy…

I have a 4-year-old son (he will proudly tell you that he is now 4-and-a-half), and his favorite question is, But why? He will ask, quiz and exclaim this question so many times a day, that toward evening, my restless reaction when he asks is to ask the question right back. When I do this, he inevitably gives me a one-word answer: Because. And so it is.

1. What Oscar-nominated actress is set to replace Marg Helgenberger on CSI?

A year of elementary school science usually begins by turning to chapter one in a textbook, spending several months reading and memorizing, then enduring the occasional quiz until the final chapter. But students at Rossman School see science come to life and watch it change through the seasons, when their classroom moves to the school’s half-mile nature trail, complete with a creek.

With a twinkle in his 8-year-old eyes, Rory, the youngest of the three boys who bring this lower level to energetic life, suggested to his mom, Anne, that the family’s next project should be a water slide, “straight from the bedroom windows into the pool!”

Looking at a wall full of fantastic perfumes, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. To get the inside scoop on choosing the one that’s right for you—or for a gift—we turned to the fragrance expert for Sephora St. Louis Galleria, Andrew Reich. With six years in the field of cosmetics and certification from The Fragrance Foundation, along with training from Sephora University, Reich offers tips that won’t steer you wrong.

I saw a movie a couple of weeks ago called Friends with Benefits, and something has been bothering me ever since: There is a scene where Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis are sitting in a diner eating lunch. In the scene, Timberlake’s character makes a comment to which Kunis replies, You’re preaching to the congregation. Timberlake then corrects her, It’s choir. You’re preaching to the choir. You’re supposed to be preaching to the congregation.

There was a time in my life when my wife and I seemed to spend countless hours on homework—our children’s homework. One challenge for parents today that didn’t exist as much for us is that kids have many more distractions: cell phones, text messaging, Facebook, etc. to takes their focus away from important tasks such as homework. I asked my friend and colleague, Dr. Duru Sakhrani, chief of child and adolescent psychiatry at Mercy Children’s Hospital, if she had any tips to keep kids more focused. This is what we came up with:

When we enter a building named for an individual, we may imagine a venerable business tycoon or elderly philanthropist. A pair of young physicians, fresh out of residency and just starting their careers, seems unlikely.

How well do you know Clayton?

The 1980 Academy Award for Best Picture went to a long-shot fan favorite that beat out the heavily favored Warren Beatty epic, Reds. Name the film.

Wolverine, Star Trek, Transformers, Harry Potter, New Moon, Public Enemies…This summer is shaping up to be a box office blast. These movies are all expected to gross nine figures, but the question remains: Will they make their way into the public consciousness, the cinematic zeitgeist? Take the quiz below and see how much you know about some movies that definitely have.

So a couple of weeks ago Ladue News printed a letter from a reader well, a former reader, who wrote to inform the editorial staff that he will no longer be reading Ladue News, as he does not find me funny. You know what? Good for you. You have an opinion, and you expressed it. Not everyone finds the same stuff funny, how else does Dane Cook sell tickets? I find David Sedaris hilarious. Augusten Burroughs, not so much. I think Dennis Miller is awesome. Larry the Cable Guy, not. That’s my opinion. Anyway, it’s a far cry from an e-mail I received last week regarding one of the questions on the ‘Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader’ quiz I wrote.

So I just took an online quiz to determine who I was in a past life. Well, imagine my surprise. Not only was I someone in a past life; I was someone pretty darned important. I was Queen Elizabeth I. Truly, that explains a lot. It explains why I hate binding clothing, high necklines and heavy jewelry. Also, I am unusually pale, and when I am sad people sometimes ask, Why the long face? I have an abnormal affinity for that HBO series, The Tudors. Also, my brothers used to tell me I was illegitimate. But while I am not certain about much when it comes to past lives or the afterlife, I am certain of one thing: I was not Queen Elizabeth I. I’m just not that diplomatic, and I have bad posture.

It’s a new era. We have a new president, a new economy and a new wave of political correctness. Reading an article about how PETA wants to call fish ‘sea kittens’ to discourage people from eating them, it occurred to me that you can name and rename things until the cow kittens come home. Words seem to offend people not because of content but because of overuse. The only thing you can refer to as ‘Oriental’ without being offensive is a rug, but why? Nobody objects to the term ‘The Orient.’ You can still ride the Orient Express. Do Westerners get upset when called Occidental? My manicurist is no longer my manicurist. She’s my nail technician, and I probably shouldn’t be referring to her as mine as that would be implying ownership.

Here’s an animated movie quiz: What do you get when you combine 45 minutes of The Lion King, 10 minutes of flashbacks from Madagascar 1, a splash of Finding Nemo, a hint of Lady and the Tramp and a dash of The Jungle Book?

Well it’s officially the holiday season. It’s dark at 4:30 p.m., I am craving chili and it’s always almost raining. We are one animated film, a wholesome family feature, a sweeping epic and 17 raw exploratory dramas away from Christmas.

I‘ve decided to give a ‘2-4’ (as in 63124) Trivia Quiz. So here it is:

Play: Bluish

• This week, instead of poking about and walking into kitchens unannounced to dish up restaurant news, I had press credentials slung around my neck to tour the restaurants at Lumiere Place.