Just a few short weeks ago, students were filled with anticipation about the start of school. Some were excited to see their friends and share summer stories, and others were dreading their loss of freedom and prematurely missing those lazy August mornings. Now, however, vacation memories have faded and school structure is everyone’s reality. Summer is firmly in the rearview mirror, and it is time to look forward.
Many consider New Year’s Day as the opportune time to create resolutions, but I would propose that the new school year is an even better time to make positive changes. And it all starts with setting proper goals. Ask your children what they might want to improve. Goals should be about personal fulfillment rather than a parental obligation because internal desire builds intrinsic motivation, a key quality for any successful student.
Creating a proper goal, however, can be difficult, as many tend to overreach or construct vague objectives. Parents should assist their student by discussing how realistic and measureable their plan is. For example, if your child says he is going to make all As, that might be unreasonable if he doesn’t typically earn As. Instead, redirect your student to focus on an attainable strategy, such as conferencing compositions with his English teacher to become a better writer.
Another way to ensure that your child experiences success is to assist him with balancing academics, extra-curriculars and free time. Many kids want to do it all, which creates stress as one struggles with meeting classroom demands and after-school requirements. Others prefer to be disengaged, often resulting in an unmotivated and lethargic student. Parents should establish realistic grade expectations and encourage their child to participate in at least one activity. Upfront conversations about how to manage homework, school activities and free time will set the tone for a realistic schedule and a positive school year.
Students also often struggle to understand the school day starts when the alarm clock rings, and ends when their head hits the pillow. Efficient mornings that allow time for a healthy breakfast and on-time school arrival creates a ready-to-learn brain, and conscious thoughts about after-school studying allow students to maximize their potential. Some prefer to complete homework before relaxing, while others want an after-school break. Commit to the process that works best and build evenings around that schedule. Consistency will ensure life responsibilities are successfully met.
To further support students during their return to routine, parents should also renew their school commitment. If you don’t already, volunteer for a couple of events and attend all teacher conferences. These connections will provide valuable insight into how your child’s classroom operates and facilitate a trusting home/school relationship. Teachers are quick to call involved parents not only about minor issues but also about personal triumphs.
Lastly, use this transitional time to revisit family routines. Start the year off with a commitment to have couple of family dinners every week. Also pledge to spend quality alone time with each child on a weekly basis. A short stop at Starbucks on the way to school can be a powerful relationship-building time that your kids will value (even if they don’t tell you).
When life gets hectic, individuals tend to get caught up in their own worlds. It is a parent’s job to provide structure so a child can experience both academic and personal success. Families that set a positive tone in September also are building a strong foundation for responsible decision-making. Good grades always are a goal but developing quality character and a positive attitude will bring even greater rewards. Make this fall a new beginning and create long-lasting resolutions.
Prior to going into private practice as psychotherapist and learning disabilities specialist, Russell Hyken, Ph.D., Ed.S, M.A., LPC, NCC, worked for more than 15 years as an English teacher, school counselor and school administrator. Visit him online at ed-psy.com