I have coulrophobia—and I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one. Coulrophobia is the abnormal fear of clowns. When I think of clowns, I experience a feeling of dread and my heartbeat picks up. I liken it to the way some babies react when they first meet Santa or the Easter Bunny, pulling away in terror or screaming in rage. Only for me, I never seem to have outgrown this irrational fear.

So imagine my relief—if that’s the proper way to call it—when I heard about a possible clown shortage in the years to come. The nation’s top clown officials this week told the New York Daily News that kids these days don’t think clowning is cool anymore.

Well, there are plenty of other ways to liven up a child’s birthday party. In my family, we’ve run the gamut from a Spider-Man sighting and a Chewbacca appearance to a sing-a-long with Elmo. And I’m sure clowns, in some form or another, will still be around—I just don’t want them around me.