At one time, the height of eponymous success was having a sandwich named for you. I mean, sure, if you’re a dignitary or a hero you might score a town or a bridge. But for the most part, a sandwich really was the flag on the peak. Today, however, the information age has created something greater to which to aspire--or not. A tweet, a YouTube post, a viral video, a Google alert...and bam! Name recognition. And, like the sandwich, when a name is associated with a certain product or behavior, sometimes it sticks. 

If somebody stole your idea and cashed in on it, they 'Zuckerberged' you…or you got 'Zuckerberged' (it’s still in the formative stages). If someone is given phenomenal opportunities and squanders them time after time, he or she is 'Lohaned.' Meanwhile, taking the slightest opening and milking it for every ounce of fame and fortune is 'to Kardashian,' as in: She took a leaked sex tape and 'Kardashianed' it into a reality show. 'Cyrusing' hasn’t really taken shape yet. It could mean garnering self-defeating, negative attention, or taking a destructive path due to lack of paternal influence. It’s still being workshopped.

A confirmed bachelor has 'Clooneyed;' but a confirmed bachelor who gets a woman pregnant and is pulled, unwillingly at first, into family life is 'Cowelled.' Of course, a married man who repeatedly philanders with, shall we say, readily available women is 'Tigering.' In order to win his wife back, he needs 'to Kobe,' to buy her something really, really, expensive. What’s good for the goose…a woman who has had more than one short marriage has 'J-Loed.'

Someone who is annoyingly overexposed is 'Seacresting.' However, if people can never get enough, you are on a 'Winfrey.' If someone is wildly successful in one field, and then attempts an ego-driven stab at another career and fails, that’s called…what’s your guess? A Jordan? A Hilton? A Willis? A Madonna? A Britney? It’s currently known as 'Timberlaking,' but this behavior is so common, a name rarely sticks.

What’s in a name? Like the people themselves, they may not be around long. Not surprisingly, it seems most of them would rather have the moniker live on, no matter how unseemly. Like people say, Who cares what they’re saying, as long as they’re talking? I think I’ll just focus on coming up with a sandwich; although if it tastes bad, I’d rather not have one at all.

More Tangential Thinker articles.