The Tangential Thinker

It’s the last hurrah for summer movies. So get to the megaplex and watch some car chases and explosions because awards season is just around the corner. Here’s what’s in store.

Aug. 6

Middle Men

Luke Wilson stars as a successful corporate problem solver who gets caught between the porn industry and the FBI when he agrees to help two Internet entrepreneurs steer their adult entertainment business. I was ready to write this off completely but the cast, including James Caan and Giovanni Ribisi, looks promising.

The Other Guys

Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg star as two desk-duty cops living in the shadow of their precinct’s dynamic duo (Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson). When the opportunity for the two to see some action arises, so too does the comedy. I have a very sad feeling this is going to be a huge dud, in spite of the cast.

Aug. 13

Eat Pray Love

Julia Roberts stars in this adaptation of the best-selling novel of the same name. Roberts plays a privileged housewife who decides her life isn’t unfolding as she had planned, and after a painful divorce takes off on a journey of self-discovery. The trailer makes me nauseous.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Michael Cera stars here as (usual) a lovable geek trying to get his dream girl. This time however, his lady love comes with a rogue’s gallery of evil exes who have united to keep new suitors away. Yes, this looks atrocious, but with genre-bending director Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Shawn of the Dead) behind the camera, anything could happen.

The Expendables

A team of super-secret mercenaries goes on a mission to overthrow a South American dictator. It stars Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mickey Rourke. Wow, my time machine works.

Aug. 20

Nanny McPhee Returns

Emma Thompson must be in the market for a beach house because she is reprising her role as the homely nanny who shows up when she’s needed the most. This time it’s to help a single mother raise her kids and help the children battle two spoiled cousins living with the family.

The Switch

Get ready for the most nauseating premise yet. Jennifer Aniston plays a single woman who gets pregnant via artificial insemination. What she doesn’t know is that her best guy friend (Jason Bateman) has substituted his, eh hem, sample for the donor chosen by Aniston and he is actually the biological father of the child. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. If Bounty Hunter put Aniston’s career in a coma, this one should pull the plug.

Aug. 27

Going the Distance

You really have to hand it to Drew Barrymore. Girlfriend knows what works. Here she teams up with her rumored off-screen beau Justin Long to play a couple attempting to keep a bicoastal relationship alive.

The Last Exorcism

This thriller is told documentary-style as a con man priest invites a film crew to document his final fraudulent days as an exorcist. Everything changes, however, when the priest receives a desperate call for help from the family of a possessed child. In a month of romantic comedies this is the only white-knuckle thriller.

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