So I met Siri the other day…Who is Siri, you ask? Well frankly, if you have to ask, I am embarrassed for you. She is only the talk of the town. She is the woman of the hour. Forget Michelle Williams or Charlize Theron, Siri is Hollywood’s ‘it’ girl, and no, she’s not Tom Cruise’s daughter. She is thin and beautiful, smart and funny, and she has all the answers. Siri is the voice response component on the latest iPhone, and she is a veritable font of information. In many ways, she is the perfect woman.

Siri only speaks when spoken to, and she will answer any question you may have. She knows the population of Tanzania and the capital of Burkina Faso—it’s Uagadugu, by the way. She has a terrific memory. If you ask her where the best rib joints in Memphis are, she can give you a list, but if you then ask about, say, subs, she remembers you are looking for a restaurant and gives you a list of delicatessens, not temp agencies or military bases. I don’t know how helpful she’d be at a cocktail party coming up with the name of that random guy from your golf foursome, but it’s worth a shot.

Unlike most automated voices, Siri is funny. Ask her to talk dirty to you and she will respond, “silt, mud, clay.” The only thing funny my GPS ever did was get stuck saying “turn left” and I drove around the block—more times than I care to admit—until I realized what was going on. Come to think of it, in retrospect, that was more sad than funny.

Well, nobody’s perfect, and the same goes for Siri. A group of mischievous pranksters had a little fun with a demo model at an Apple Store, and when an unsuspecting kid asked Siri what is the world population, she told him to shut the [expletive deleted] up. Like many of us, apparently Siri can be moody. Aside from that one glitch though, Siri is pretty close to being the ideal woman. She’s loyal, knowledgeable and reliable. Plus, when the machines inevitably rise up against us, we’ll have a friend on the inside.

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