If I’m being incredibly optimistic, I would say studios are opting for quality, not quantity, this summer. We shall see. Here’s what’s coming in July and August:
I know. I’ve checked a dozen times. Where is the big Fourth-of-July, ‘America-Heck-Yeah,' alien-invasion blockbuster? It’s just not there. Maybe Will Smith is working on some personal stuff. Maybe Tom Cruise scared everyone away from big-budget sci-fi films. Who knows? Instead, we have the offensive-looking Melissa McCarthy comedy that will apparently tell all of us just how much of this very funny lady we can tolerate.
Deliver Us from Evil
This bright, festive holiday weekend may not be the season for a bone-chilling thriller, but rumors are rampant that this Eric Bana-helmed film, based on the memoir of a New York cop, may be the next Exorcist or Silence of the Lambs.
This heart-melting drama follows a young musician (Keira Knightley) who finds herself alone and struggling in New York. When a down-on-his-luck promoter (Mark Ruffalo) discovers her singing in a bar, things take a turn.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Here's big Fourth-of-July blockbuster. I guess someone needs a calendar. Gary Oldman and lots and lots of CGI apes star in the continuation of the remake of the saga.
And So It Goes
Next in the genre I call the second-chance-romance—films with interchangeable titles about finding love later in life—comes And So It Goes. Michael Douglas stars as a cantankerous realtor who enlists the help of a neighbor, played by Diane Keaton, to help him when he is unexpectedly tasked with taking care of his granddaughter.
Bad Teacher duo Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz team up again, this time playing a husband and wife who inadvertently upload a night of recorded passion. In my pick for the most idiotic premise of the summer, they go on a mission to delete their sex tape from the virtual world. Good luck with that.
I can’t articulate the plot of this film, so I’m going to give you the official description: An action-thriller that tracks a woman (Scarlett Johansson) accidentally caught in a dark deal who turns the tables on her captors and transforms into a merciless warrior evolved beyond human logic. So, there you have it.
Get On Up
Chadwick Boseman certainly doesn’t shy from a challenge. After taking on baseball legend Jackie Robinson in the wildly underrated 42, the actor will now step into the flamboyant role of the Godfather of Soul, James Brown. The summer release date sets off a few alarm bells, but if Boseman’s talent is any indication, this biopic should be a winner.
Let’s Be Cops
Stars of TV’s New Girl, Damon Wayans Jr. and Jake Johnson, take asinine comedy to the big screen. I guess the title, Just Shoot Me, was taken.
The Expendables 3
How expendable can they be if this is the third movie?
Adapted from the quintessential middle-school summer reading assignment, The Giver is the story of a boy living in a bland Utopia devoid of any extreme emotion. When he is selected for a special role in society, he begins to question the sacrifices being made for stability.
As Above, So Below
This thriller explores the chilling secrets buried in the catacombs beneath Paris. I wouldn’t have mentioned it but for the fact that this movie has quite possibly the coolest poster of the year, so I thought it was worth a nod.
If I Stay
A young woman struggling with the normal decisions of life is faced with a much more weighty struggle after an accident while on a family drive. This is looking to be the teen movie of the summer.
When the Game Stands Tall
Despite having the worst title of any movie ever, this inspirational tale of a high-school football coach who turned a lackluster team into an unstoppable force shows promise.
Pierce Brosnan may not have been the greatest James Bond ever, but he always picks good scripts. Here, he stars as a CIA operative hunting for the woman who is the key to an international conspiracy. It’s like Thomas Crowne and James Bond had a baby.