I know I sound like a broken record when I talk about the lack or originality in Hollywood, but prepare to be amazed. Lately, they aren’t even remaking movies, they’re just re-releasing them in 3D. Anyway, I hope you have plans for July, because you’re not going to be spending next month at the movies.
JULY 3
Independence Day 3D
Remember that Will Smith alien invasion movie from the ’90s? Well, it’s back.
The Lone Ranger
Armie Hammer stars as the not-so-lone ranger with Johnny Depp as Tonto. Remember the TV show from the ’60s? Well, it’s back. The Lone Ranger rides again…and again.
Despicable Me 2
Remember the adorable animated Steve Carell comedy?
JULY 12
Pacific Rim
I’m just going to quote the imdb.com description so I don’t screw it up. “When an alien attack threatens the earth’s existence, giant robots piloted by humans are deployed to fight off the menace.” So, if you missed Battleship…
Grown Ups 2
Just when you think Hollywood can’t get any shallower, they let a little more water out of the pool…
JULY 19
Jurassic Park 3D
OK, I have to admit, if there’s a movie that would be cool to see in 3D, it’s Jurassic Park, but still.
Turbo
An animated tale of a snail who dreams of becoming the fastest snail in the world. No comment.
July 26
Phineas and Ferb
I guess if your TV screen is too small, you might want to watch this in theaters.
The Wolverine
See what they did there? They put a ‘The’ in front of the word Wolverine in the title. That way you will think it’s an original movie.
JULY 31
The Smurfs 2
If you need me, I’ll be out on a ledge.
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