So. Last week I wrote a column on twists on the concept of the honeymoon. In it I mentioned that language is fluid and constantly evolving. Words that were cutting edge six months ago will paint you the fool if you use them today. I asked Cranky (16) if the party she attended last week was ‘off the chain’ and received an eye roll-head shake combination usually reserved for pathetic losers…wait.
Don’t blink or you’ll miss the next wave of cutting edge jargon. Some words and phrases are timeless, others have an expiration date. So I’ve compiled a short guide to the vocab of the day, timeless and trending as well as a few that are making an encore appearance. Now be advised, I have been informed by my teenagers the fact that a woman of my advanced age is using these terms is in itself rendering them obsolete, but I will do my best to stay current. The simple fact that I’m committing these words to print is undermining their relevance, so you see my quandary. That being said, I will soldier on.
(bear in mind these will be probably old by the time this article goes to print)
Hype- it’s the new equivalent to above mentioned ‘off the chain.’ It means really really cool. This year’s prom is going to be hype. Hopefully all the promised hype parties will live up to the, well, hype.
Sad- It’s a noun now, a tangible noun. That football game gave me a sad. I think you can figure out the meaning.
# - it’s the way to navigate common threads in social media. I’m kidding. No one knows what the hashtag means, but it’s cool. Imagine a Facebook post of your friend at a Cardinal game and a caption that reads: Friday night at Busch. Eh. Now picture the same post with this caption: #meandyadi #cubssuck #beeraninning. See?
Turn up- Not just the volume. It means amplify everything, and especially turn up your glass into your mouth, aka drink.
Swerve- it literally means swerve. It’s the equivalent of step off, a directive to a person aggressively coming toward you.
Catfish- falsify one’s image or personal info online. If you use Kate Upton’s photo on your eHarmony profile, you are catfishing.
Five Minutes Ago
Selfie- the kids still use it, but they’re not happy about it; it’s lost its edge.
Yolo- the acronym meaning ‘you only live once’ came and went faster than the song that inspired it.
Phat- urban slang for sexy and unless you’re playing vintage nineties rap, the word has no place at the party.
Chillax- the dated portmanteau combines chill out and relax and it is over.
@- I dislike this little icon for many reasons. Of course I find Twitter annoying, but the real reason is that the symbol seems to be only known as the “at sign.” It doesn’t have a cool name like ampersand or hyphen. Italians call it ‘the snail’ which I love. In Spanish it’s arroba, which may cross over.
Hella-it’s a contraction of ‘hell of a’ and if you use it you will be shunned. Also do not confuse it with holla which is also taboo.
Rached- it means disgusting or awful. One can only assume it’s a bastardization of retched. Don’t ever use it. It’s dreadful.
Epic fail- don’t worry, this one will be back.
Awkward- it should be dated but it’s not.
Salty- still means pretty much the same thing.
LOL- it may seem premature to think of LOL as timeless but trust me, if you’re a millennial, LOL is as part of your lingo as ASAP or TGIF. Oh and NSFW is fast approaching.
Ralph- truth be told the euphemisms for vomit never go out of style.
Fox- spectacular word, descriptive and fun to say to boot.
Tune in next week when the outs will be ins and the ins will be retro…