I was doing a little research online last week. Well, let me back up. We have had our puppy for a little more than a year. According to all the experts—you know, the neighbors, my dry cleaner, the cable guy—her, um, rambunctiousness should have died down by now. Yet for some reason, on the scale of canine insanity, she falls somewhere between peculiar and deranged. Of course, it doesn’t help that Whiny and Punch are for all intents and purposes human puppies, always eager for a little rough-housing.

So I went to the source of all information both real and fictitious, the Internet. Turns out, I have what is known in the breeding community as a 'designer dog,' a term that must make animal rights activists cringe. A designer dog is a combination of two recognized breeds to create a new, elite, sought-after breed—a golden doodle or a peekapoo. I picture a mad scientist’s lab in a 1950s black-and-white movie with two dogs in glass booths and an electrical current running between two colanders strapped to their heads, but that would be absurd…

Our dog is a puggle—a mix between a pug and a beagle. Now the pug is the royal Chinese lap dog. They are described as docile, rarely aggressive and good with children. They tend to be calm and quiet, depending on the mood of the owner. Hmm. The beagle, on the other hand, is a scent hound. In a study conducted several years ago, beagles were found to be the most excitable breed of dog in existence. They are described as playful, energetic and easily distracted...which brings us to the puggle.

Pebbles, our puggle, is the puppy of a pug father and a beagle mother. What were they thinking? It’s like cross-breeding a Buddhist monk with a Mexican jumping bean—with ADHD…on crack. And she’s not a calmer beagle or a more energetic pug, she is both dogs. You never know what you’re going to get when you walk through the door—a lazy pug basking in a spot of sunlight on the carpet, or a miniature Cujo who seems to think your shoe is a small game animal.

Well, I’ve got my best people on the case. You know, my mailman, my plumber, oh and of course, Kennelwood. They can try and train Pebbles, and I will work on Whiny and Punch. Plus, she’ll be a year-and-a-half old in March, surely she will have calmed down by then…

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