Well, spring break is upon us. I just love it when the kiddos are off school. They play so well together, and I can finally get some much-needed help around the house. I’m joking, of course. A Grey Goose gimlet and the last season of The Mentalist are the only things keeping me from kicking the chair out from underneath me. The mind reels at the sheer number of topics about which my children can argue.
Yesterday, Whiny and Punch argued over whether you can drive a golf cart on the highway. The day before, the topic of debate was whether a feather would land on the moon’s surface, or simply remain suspended in the air. Frankly, I don’t even mind the fighting—at least they’re doing something. Because when the bickering stops and the air is quiet, the vacation mantra begins: Mom, I’m bored. There’s nothing to do.
Nothing to do? Forget the fact that we have a new puppy who sits by the door with a ball in her mouth at the ready. Let’s explore some other options.
Option No. 1: the family room—or as I like to call it, the Apple Store. There are more games and apps, music and movies and TV shows, and systems and software than I can count. You could reposition a satellite from that room.
Option No. 2: the game closet. Yes, I know kids today play Words with Friends and Draw Something on their phones. It doesn’t matter if they’re in Brentwood or Bora Bora, they can play. What if, on the off-chance that Cranky has three friends in the neighborhood? She has 700 Facebook friends, surely a couple of them are within driving distance—why not bust out Scrabble or Pictionary? Certainly there’s something to be said for sitting around a table with actual humans holding a real marker or actual tiles, you know, living in the three-dimensional world. Of course, Cranky thinks these suggestions are the ravings of a lunatic.
And now for the cardio portion of our program, option No. 3: Get up and move! There are more things with wheels in our garage than on the Jersey Turnpike. Ride a bike, in-line skate, do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around—do something, do anything! Alas, it would seem that Punch feels the only reason to run is if someone is chasing him. Well, there are just a few more days to go. If I can give them something really good to bicker about, it’ll be over in no time.