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Banned on the Rum - Ladue News: Tangential Thinker

Banned on the Rum

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Posted: Thursday, December 22, 2011 2:02 pm

It’s the final week of 2011, and I, for one, am ready to ring in 2012. Everything this year just seemed a little out of whack. Yes, the Cardinals won the World Series, but even that seemed a little hinky—as if Loki were skipping through the outfield blissfully making players drop balls. The weather was wacky, the stock market was crazy, black was white, up was down.

The other strange thing that happened this year is a lot of things got banned. The Yahoo blog, Shine, pointed out some of them, and I noticed even more.

A Texas movie theater banned texting during movies, prompting the removal of a teen from a showing of Avatar. The teen then left a garbled drunken message on the theater’s voicemail, which later went viral, making the girl a laughingstock. In Great Britain, the Final Destination 5 movie poster was banned for being too violent. Ironically, the movie itself was acceptable.

Plus, 2011 was a bad year for babies. First, an Arkansas grocery store shelved the People magazine featuring Elton John, partner David Furnish and their newborn son on the cover behind a ‘family shield.’ I mean, Kevin Federline I can see…Next, Malaysia Airlines banned babies from certain first-class flights. Honestly, I don’t see the problem with this. What baby doesn’t find a coach seat roomy? Plus, most babies don’t drink, so beverage service isn’t an issue. Well, businesses everywhere took a page from Malaysia Airline’s playbook and now, you will find a baby ban in restaurants, hotels and movie theaters worldwide.

My personal favorite is San Jose High School. Officials there require girls to purchase a micro-mini uniform, but bans them from wearing said uniform in the classroom as it is too risqué. Let that one percolate. The clothing ban continued with a multi-state ban on baggy pants—I can’t wait until the next time Justin Bieber travels to Pennsylvania. Fur always was frowned upon in Tinsel Town, but now, even selling fur is banned. Unless, I’m assuming, it’s attached to its original owner. I think it’s still okay for pets to wear their fur, but you never know.

As 2011 winds to a close, we should all be grateful for all the rights and privileges we do have. As long as you’re not a baby, you can pretty much do what you want—and is that really so different from past years? So, be happy and feel really sorry for the guy in Hollywood who just opened his first baggy fur jeans store.

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