Here’s an interesting thought: Let’s take every ‘80s teen-angst film ever made, cast look-alikes for ‘80s icons and shove it into a Love Actually multi-storyline format, and do it really, really badly. I mean really badly. Include lines of dialogue like, Justin may have bailed on me but I am not bailing on prom. I don’t really want to waste your—or my—time with this, but I feel an obligation to warn you.

    Ione Skye’s character from Say Anything gets forced to decorate the gym for prom with either Judd Nelson’s character from Breakfast Club or Jackie Earle Haley’s character from Bad News Bears. Bet you can’t guess what happens there. Meanwhile, John Cusack’s character from Say Anything—here too, named Lloyd—can’t find a date for prom. He does meet Molly Ringwald’s character from Pretty in Pink, but she already has a date. John Cusack and Anthony Michael Hall’s characters from Sixteen Candles pine over Ali Sheedy’s character from St. Elmo’s Fire and Sean Penn’s character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High is going to the prom with Kelly LeBrock’s character from Weird Science. If you think I’m kidding, see for yourself.

    Granted, I am not the target demographic for this movie: The little girls behind me were laughing, probably because they haven’t seen any of the aforementioned films. I found this to be the most derivative, predictable, poorly acted movies I’ve seen in years. John Hughes is rolling over in his grave.