I don’t understand. I truly don’t. Who greenlights a script like this? I get that director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, 2012, The Day after Tomorrow) loves some great special effects, but to the exclusion of all else? I can practically imagine the pitch meeting: Take the first and third Die Hards, Executive Decision, Olympus has Fallen and 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, put them all together, edit out all the good parts and voila! I’m going to use a word I don’t use very often, and I hate that this movie has driven me to that place. But when my 14-year-old son (the target demographic, I might add) uses the same word, I have no choice. This movie is stupid.

After getting passed over for a job with the Secret Service, John Cale (Channing Tatum) decides to take his daughter, Emily (Joey King), on a tour of the White House. As fate would have it, they choose precisely the same time to sight-see as a group of rogue black ops paramilitary terrorists decides to seize control of the building. I would have hoped our seat of government would be more secure, oh well. Emily and Cale get separated in all the computer-generated confusion; and it’s up to Cale to save the president (Jamie Foxx), rescue his daughter, oh and also prevent World War III.

I have a vital piece of information for Hollywood casting directors: Channing Tatum cannot act. It’s that simple. Granted, the dialogue here was not helping his cause, but this guy makes Steven Segal look like Olivier. Box office or oval office, this movie is a bomb. It’s a 3.

More Arts & Entertainment articles.