To be perfectly honest, I’m a fan of young romance: I’m a fan of romantic comedies, I’m a fan of straight-up comedies, and I’m even a fan of Neanderthal male-bonding buddy movies. This is none of those.

We start with a fail-safe plot: Commitment-phobe Jason (Zac Efron) meets perfect, cool, gorgeous Ellie (Imogen Poots), and must battle his own self-sabotage and his juvenile buddies to win her heart and find love. I mean, come on. You’d have to do something really wrong to screw that up. Here, they do it in spectacular fashion. The movie doesn’t bomb, it simply dies a long, slow death.

I’m not sure I’ve impressed upon you the gravity of the situation: The leads, Efron and Poots, two incredibly attractive people, look throughout the film like they showed up to shoot with a vicious hangover, and then proceeded to cut their own hair with safety scissors. Indie favorite Miles Teller is reduced to uttering some of the worst one-liners ever written, and Oscar hopeful Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station) had even less to work with than his costars, if that’s possible. This movie may very well end up being a career-killer. At the very least, it is a complete waste of time. It’s a 2.