I don’t want to give anything away. No matter your religious beliefs, you really can’t argue the fact that Bible stories make wonderful theatrical productions: The Ten Commandments, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, The Passion of the Christ. Frankly, it’s surprising no one has brought the story of Noah’s ark to the big screen before now. Well, actually, they have. There was a respectable feature film in the '20s—you can almost picture the stagehands throwing buckets of water from off-stage—and a somewhat embarrassing mini-series in 1999 starring Jon Voight and Mary Steenburgen that just about everyone seems to want to forget. This new movie version fares the flood waters with greater success.

Noah, God, flood, ark, apocalypse, salvation--it all seems pretty basic, but this film was written and directed by Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream). So, naturally I was expecting…something; a modern metaphor, a level of irony, an internal monologuesomething. Instead, I got rock beasts and CGI animals. On a positive note, the acting is as you would expect from a cast that uses Oscars for paper weights. Russell Crowe proves once again that there is no role beyond his capabilities. The real star of the movie, however, is the flood—to call the special effect spectacular is selling it short. It’s a 6.

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