The Baldwin Report

Unreliable and second-hand gossip from around the world*

Al Pacino

The uber-star said in an interview recently that in spite of the fact that he has had a legendary film career, he also turned down many parts that cemented the careers of other actors. Pacino reportedly passed on the role of Han Solo in Star Wars, Edward Lewis in Pretty Woman, and even the role that sky-rocketed Bruce Willis to action-hero status, Die Hard’s John McClane. I imagine that happens a lot with A-listers. Plus, Pacino already has Say hello to my little friend. It doesn’t seem fair to give him Yippee Ki Yay!, as well. In Hollywood, you can win multiple Oscars and star in numerous sequels, but you’re only allowed one catch phrase.

Joe Simpson

Ashley and Jessica’s father/ whoremonger--er manager--was hard at work last week promoting his latest act, girl group Alectrix, while doing his best to dispel the gay rumors that plagued his nasty divorce. Simpson was spotted with the blonde singers at multiple Hollywood hotspots as he partied the night away and sought out every possible photo op. Some people thought the ‘I like gals’ t-shirt and ‘ladies’ man’ tattoo were trying too hard, but I don’t know…

Johnny Depp

It is common knowledge in Hollywood that the Golden Globe winner and Oscar-nominated actor does not watch his completed films. However, Depp confessed in a recent interview that a friend put together a montage of the film characters he has portrayed over the years and played it for him. Depp’s reaction? “I still feel lucky to be in the game…without having to play the game too awful much…” Well, that is just infuriating. He’s handsome, talented, sexy and he has perspective? I bet he’s boring…or dumb--no mean, I bet he’s mean. Yeah, that’s it.

Kate Winslet

The Oscar winner is expecting her third child, this time with third husband, Ned Rocknroll. Winslet has a daughter, Mia, with her first husband, director Jim Threapleton; and a son, Joe, with hubby No.2, director Sam Mendes. Well, I hate to brace you for some harsh truths, but our beautiful Rose Dawson married a guy who legally changed his name from Smith to Rocknroll. Her days of normal baby names are over. Olive? Ivanna? Longlive? The mind reels…and the stomach churns.

*so don’t quote me.