The Baldwin Report

Unreliable and second-hand gossip from around the world*

Donald Trump and Cher

The real estate mogul and the former diva have taken their war of words to Twitter. After Trump’s now-notorious post-election meltdown, the singer and others petitioned Macy’s to discontinue Trump's clothing line. That led to a bitter exchange of name-calling and political debate on the social media site. And, in other irrelevant news, dinosaurs vanished from the planet 65 million years ago.

The Biebs

Brace yourselves, tweens, Justin Bieber is back on the market. The heartthrob reportedly is brokenhearted, after twice proposing to girlfriend Selena Gomez and then getting dumped. Fortunately, he has a comforting shoulder to cry on in the form of Ms. Oprah Winfrey. Frankly, I can’t think of a better person. She’s nurturing and generous, and is an excellent listener—and you know she’ll keep whatever he tells her confidential.

Carmen Electra

The wild-child bombshell has found a new career—correction—the wild child bombshell has found a career. After years of being in pin-up shape, Electra is giving women tips on getting and staying in shape. Carmen was quoted as saying she likes to keep her fitness training interesting by doing non-traditional things. Don’t get me wrong, I think that’s great. I’m just not sure amphetamines and sex yoga are the right regimen for everybody.

Lindsay Lohan

The troubled actress recently wrapped shooting her TV movie, Liz & Dick, where she portrays Elizabeth Taylor. The film explores the violent emotional relationship Taylor had with her on-again/off-again spouse, alcoholic Richard Burton. Lohan was quoted as saying she envied the intensity and passion of their love and hopes to find that herself one day. Oh, don’t worry dear, something tells me that’s exactly the kind of relationship you’re going to have.

*so don’t quote me.