The Baldwin report

Unreliable and second-hand gossip from around the world*

Justin Bieber

It would appear our favorite teen idol has had it with South America. Bieber’s concert tour across the continent has been riddled with scandal and controversy, including run-ins with the law and an alleged indiscretion with a Brazilian prostitute. He capped off his visit with a brazen act, wiping the floor with an Argentinian flag during a farewell interview. You know, when he’s 30, hosing off a drive-through and dodging child-support payments, he may regret doing that.

Mariah Carey

The diva is apparently not finished complaining about her former American Idol co-judge, rapper Nicki Minaj. Throughout the previous AI season, Minaj mocked, interrupted and repeatedly stole the spotlight from the Hero singer and Ms. Carey is not having it. In a recent interview, Carey complained that being on American Idol was hell, and Nicki Minaj was Satan. You know what they say: Go to heaven for the climate, go to hell for the pulsing techno beat and edgy rhymes.

David Beckham

The sexy soccer star is baring it all again, this time for the retail giant H&M. Beckham is the model for the store’s Holiday Bodywear Collection and will pose wearing the brand’s boxers and briefs in a sleek, tiled locker room. The smell of cinnamon in the air, pine trees dusted with frost, big family gatherings, a tatted up sex symbol half-naked in a bathhouse…aah, the holidays.

Liam Hemsworth

Miley Cyrus’s ex is currently on an international tour promoting the upcoming Hunger Games movie. In spite of the massive buzz over the film, reporters seem more interested in details of the Aussie’s heavily publicized break up with the Wrecking Ball singer. Hemsworth, to date, has only had one comment: I am extremely happy for all her success. I must say I applaud his discretion. Of course, if you factor in that his manager gave him strict instructions not to mention anything about marijuana, tongue-thrusting, twerking or Billy Ray, there wasn’t much left to discuss.

*so don’t quote me.