The Baldwin Report

Unreliable and second-hand gossip from around the world*

Kendall Jenner

The fourth daughter in the 'Dumb Dynasty' turned 18 last week and gave us all a present: a series of tweets and modeling shots highlighting the strong resemblance between her and older half-sister, Kim Kardashian. Mom-manager Kris Jenner has had older daughters on multiple reality shows and exploiting their personal lives, as well as running a successful retail operation and hawking a clothing line. Now that those daughters have become tedious, Kris is ready to milk her second litter. It’s wholesome if you think about it...kind of like Native Americans using all the parts of the buffalo.

Anna Wintour

The Vogue editor-in-chief and fashion icon made an appearance at a private Kanye West concert in New York City last week. Ms. Wintour was besieged by Kanye’s fiancée, Kim Kardashian, in an obvious bid to land a cover for the style mag. Not to be outdone, Lindsay Lohan chirped in Ms. Wintour’s other ear, apparently with the same endgame in mind. Anna smiled and chatted with both women throughout the after-party, but was seen mouthing over her shoulder, Who are they again?

Miley Cyrus

The avalanche of daddy issues continues: This week, the Wrecking Ball singer bleached her eyebrows for no apparent reason, and then posted pictures of her almost unrecognizable face. So if you’re keeping track, we have: a broken engagement, simulated sex on stage, televised drug use and countless semi-nude tweets--all before she’s old enough to legally drink. Really, the only headline-grabber left would be some bizarre human sacrifice—that, or a spiritual conversion prompting a complete 180. And I’m torn…

James Van Der Beek

In a recent interview, the re-emerging actor talked about the height of his career starring on Dawson’s Creek. VDB admitted that sometimes, he would be terrified when crazed fans were mobbing him. He shuddered during the interview, recalling having to be thrown into the back of a cop car to escape a mob of screaming girls. Although signing autographs at a Smoothie King opening takes a bit of the sting out of that memory...

*so don’t quote me.